I just went through a funny ordeal: had a DVD stuck in an optical drive. It couldn’t be ejected and had to be physically removed from a dismantled drive. Sounds cool now but I warn you not to try it at home. Surgery can change into autopsy any second.

I was watching a DVD movie the other day and once I finished I was to eject it from my MacBook Pro’s SuperDrive. Hitting the eject button, DVD disengaged and after few seconds engaged again, disappearing and reappearing as a mounted device on a desktop. Obviously, my Mac enjoyed the movie too and decided to keep it for itself.

Funny, thought I. Something’s going on. Tried over and over to same results, fighting the film. Tried to restart and hold the trackpad button. Nothing, or rather the same again. At this moment, normal people call technical support and give up. But since when am I normal?

The very first thing I did was to search Internet forums. How to get a jammed DVD of the drive? People come up with different ideas, they use credit cards, paper clips, tweezers, turn computer upside down, or whatever else, just to trick the drive to release the offending movie. So I tried all of these, slowly coming to a sad conclusion: I will have to dismantle the whole bloody thing!

Love Actually running on a fully functional, yet semi-dismantled MacBook Pro which still has the SuperDrive top casing removed.

What can I say. Got repair guides from the Internet (www.ifixit.com and powerbookmedic.com are a great source), all necessary screwdrivers, summoned my two assistants (one of whom took photos) and conquered the Mac. It takes roughly 30 screws to get to the drive.

However, once I had a drive, I still didn’t have a movie. So even the SuperDrive had to be dissected into pieces. Then, finally, I had my beloved DVD back. It was brand new few hours ago and now looked at me beautifully scratched by a credit card (which I rendered useless, too) and punctured by tweezers (they survived).

Now, talking about autopsy is one thing and trying to operate without qualification is the other. Yet, I put it all together. Drive was a bit tricky though with proper pressure applied to its screws it engages and releases discs far better now than before. I know ‘cos I let the laptop run while still on a slab, adjusting the screws for the best performance.

This is me enjoying a glass of bourbon while Peter is admiring my precise work.

The rest was a piece of cake. Top casing with keyboard, screws, memory, battery, more screws and ready to fire! All good.

And what was that movie, you might ask? I answer very quietly, OK? Notting Hill. You won’t tell anybody, promise?!